the end of the rope

that used car that we hurried to buy because we’d be living in the country?  well the car broke down on the highway and had a ton of problems that involved threatening the dealer with a call to the attorney general before they would fix.

last friday’s closing was delayed last thursday when our lender admitted they were late to request our ’10 tax returns.  red cabbed it to the irs only to find out that while they had received them, they never processed them.  she broke down in there and the manager apologized for their “administrative error” and gave her a letter to take back to the lender (who would then present it to outside underwriters approving our special “no pmi” loan).  they wouldn’t accept receipt of received taxes, they wanted it processed but that will take weeks.  so thursday we were advised to apply for another kind of loan that didn’t require tax returns from ’10 and since they already had everything else, we’d be good to go (albeit paying PMI).  but there was a catch.  we had to wait 7 days for “truth in lending blah blah blah” and tomorrow is day 8.

the sellers were really pissed.  they had moved out last wednesday (even though the friday closing wasn’t firm) and wanted a per diem.  we said of course and red wrote a letter saying there was no way we could have foreseen an administrative error at the irs and sorry to inconvenience them – but also, our lives are packed up and we have a three year old.  they said forget the per diem and we could store stuff in the barn and we said “no worries, we don’t want to inconvenience you any more but thank you.”  and they said “once you get the commitment, you can move in.”

so again, we hired movers.

and the last seven days have been stressful around here with tight hallways and rooms of boxes but we were almost there.

then on monday, i tested roxy’s urine for the first time in a week only to read a major relapse.  so we’re back to germ-patrol and liquid restriction and watching the effects of prednisone take over again.

then my aunt got diagnosed with breast cancer.

next week we have to turn in the lease on our other car (prius).  yesterday morning red’s newer car was low on gas and i said “take the prius” and are you sitting down?  she was rear-ending into a box truck on the way home.  so the front and back bumpers are damaged (she’s okay).  the car we’d kept in excellent condition for three years, with less than a week until return, and talk about rotten freaking luck.

then i threw my back out this morning.  and like those things go, i was paralyzed for a bit, and red had to come home from work.  (it slowly improved throughout the day and it feels best when my spine isn’t bending)

red spent all day today on the phone with our brokers, making sure nothing else could go wrong and that we’d be able to close tomorrow (friday). we got the commitment letter that was promised last monday.  and then at 4 pm the underwriter said “oh we know you applied last thursday but we didn’t process until friday so you have to wait until next monday to close.”  and we took a deep breath and had our broker call the seller’s broker to make sure we could move in anyway since we had the clear to close and heard back “sorry, our attorney has advised us not to let you move in until closing.”  and for the hundredth time in two weeks, i think, just maybe, this is what hitting your breaking point feels like.  because another three days in this apartment that is probably barely 700 sf, of pulling things back out of boxes that we need, well it feels pretty heavy.

and moving into a house when the sellers have (rightfully?) lost all their compassion feels dark.  we’d have been totally understanding to have been paying a per diem all this time and never said “no.”  they presented us with a “use of occupancy” last week and to take it away now, when every “T” has been crossed is ugly – but then again, they don’t know us and it’s business but when you’re moving to a tiny town, you kind of hope the gays you’re buying from will be good acquaintances.

family vacation begins a week from saturday and that doesn’t sound appealing to me at all because i just want to be settled someplace for a long time.  roxy has a visit with bio-mom tomorrow and both her therapist and attorney urged me to ask the social worker to cancel on a count of her relapse.  she never responded to my email or phone call so i guess it’s still on.  red is sitting across from me researching weekend trips so we don’t have to sit around here.  i’m not sure what’s worse for roxy?  another transition or the chaos of our home.  speaking of roxy, after a couple of weeks of very intense emotions, i bought the book.  and now i’m happy to say we’re on day 3 of the sweetest behavior to date.  basically this has more to do with us keeping our cool and giving her incentives (superhero stickers, anyone?).  so yes, i also have fears that tomorrow will stir up some of the fears she felt during the last hellish visit and we’ll see some regression.

away we go

i have a feeling we’ll look back on the last year of our lives and wonder why crammed everything into 12 months.  it was one year ago that our home study was finished and nary a month later, our disclosure meeting for roxy.  we’ve come a long way from those early months of adjusting to life with a very anxious toddler, but of course new and upcoming transitions have us hyper-vigilant..  this week she started camp and for the first time since october, i have a few free hours each morning.  much to roxy’s delight, we bought a used min.i clubma.n (roxy says “MIMI CAW!”) last week now that red has a parking spot at her new job – and a commute from the country to begin when we close two weeks from today (hopefully, knock wood, in underwriting still).  after closing we have two weeks before our summer vacation that has long been booked.

my father took us out on his boat the other day and she loved helping him drive.  we’ll miss city scooter rides but the sheep across the street from the new house should provide some entertainment.  as much as i love our current location, we’re excited for a yard, storage, and most of all…laundry.

after the DOMA news broke, we decided to go to city hall, which was having a celebration.  i had roxy in sunglasses and a big hat because we’re supposed to be cautious of bio-mom run-ins.   well, naturally two major publications published photos on their websites of roxy (and me).  i guess her rainbow gear was just irresistible to the press.  hopefully the photos don’t make any print editions but red doesn’t think roxy is recognizable.  it does feel very much like the social workers want us to avoid the city altogether (but this was just too significant for us to skip).

farewell charles boat