winding down

good news!  roxy came back from her visit with bio-mother two weeks ago despite my fear that i’d never see her again.  coconut (her sw) said she cried “mama” for the last twenty minutes of the hour drive home.  red and i are “mama” and foster mother is “mami” but we don’t hear much about her anymore as roxy gets settled in.  we arranged to drive her to the next bio-mom visit to make the car ride easier but it was canceled which is a relief for us because i had nightmares of bio-mom watching through the bars on her windows and making a note of our license plate.

we’ve had a surprisingly perfect holiday week.  my birthday was last friday and it was, hands down, roxy’s worst day with us.  as red’s sister says, kids just know when something is important to you and will inevitably screw it up.  but my parents babysat in the evening and we got to go out for a proper dinner with friends.  and roxy did swell on christmas eve and christmas day despite late bedtimes both days.  she loved meeting all the many cousins and from the moment each day’s parties started, she’d get swept up in a tornado of motion and would only check in occasionally!  the benefit of having 60 of your closest relatives celebrating in one house, i suppose.  gift unwrapping did prove overwhelming but we stretched it out over a few days.  the other big change?  she has not asked for television even once after her morning show in over two weeks.

her tantrums are all but gone and now a stern “what did you just say/do?” is all it takes for her to say “sorry, mama.”  i think we can attribute that to resetting the timer until she stops crying in her time-out chair.  we’re also giving her choices for everything.  nap time used to be the worst part of the day.  now we say “roxy, do you want to sleep with your camera or georgia (her doll)?” of course you can insert any items in there (really, it could be a sock) and she’s happy to lay down.

this morning, red (who is happily on vacation), roxy, and i went to nordstr.om to buy my mother a birthday present.  roxy was wearing her ip.od shuf.fle her uncle bought her with her special low-volume toddler headphones and sitting happily in her stroller (maybe more subdued than usual) when all of a sudden she vomited all over the carpet around the fancy shoe department.  she hasn’t seemed sick at all!  the poor crying baby…i quickly swept her away to the bathroom where i could change her but everything was soaked right down to her shoes.  it was just one of those times where you’re in panic mode and you’re pouring anti-bacterial gel on the stroller and her legs and trying to soothe her terrified mind…consider yourself lucky if that’s unfamiliar.  since this was our second scene of child trauma (the first being when she fell hard in the playground), i have to say, “what the hell is wrong with people?”  the closest employee said “whoooooa” and quickly went to tell his fellow employees, “look at the rug!”  the women shopping nearby shot us death glances instead of the sympathetic ones we really could’ve used in the moment.   we left nordstrom with my mother’s new boots and a trash bag of our child’s smelly clothes.

so the next step is to cross our fingers for the court date coming up the second week of january.  there is a real possibility they’ll send roxy back to her former foster home since we’re technically “respite” while FM is on vacation.  this would only be until the judge renders his decision on TPR, of course – but detrimental nonetheless.

behold our little munchkin in her classic xmas attire…

nearing the end of the beginning

what a week.  last wednesday, red texted FM to ask if we could pick up roxy on friday instead of saturday.  FM said “of course” but also added that she was on her way to the emergency room with her bio-daughter who had been vomiting all night.  so i offered to go pick up roxy before they left and she obliged.  roxy, however, had the worst tantrum in the history of tantrums.  i hate to even call it a tantrum because it was pure rage over the confusion of the moment.  we’ve never had a problem at a pick-up and this time began fine as she greeted me with a kiss and a “MAMA!” but i think i stayed in their apartment too long chatting because something shifted and she decided she wasn’t going with me.  FM and her daughter walked us out to the car as roxy began growling, kicking, and biting through her tears.  it was a feat to get her into her car seat and my heart was ripped out of my chest as FM drove by us and roxy screamed “MAMI MAMI MAMI!”  i sat in the backseat for a good while trying to calm her, waiting for the police to show up because of the scene we had made.  the police never came.  we finally arrived back here and by then she was in a good mood.  but i am determined to have as a few more pick-ups as possible.

roxy is still here, exactly one week later.  we had a rough weekend as she eventually came down with the sickness that brought FM’s daughter to the hospital.  unfortunately the vomiting happened in the car but we already have a replacement carseat while the other one airs out (because somehow washing the fabric and spraying it all down wasn’t enough – next stop, car wash sprayers).  by saturday night, roxy had recovered but we all had cabin fever so my parents joined us for zoolights.

coconut (roxy’s SW) came over monday with baby photos.  i may post a pw-protected post soon with ambiguous case developments – it will be the same pw as the old blog but msg me if you need it.    she goes back to FM’s tomorrow morning because of an EI appt at the house but we’ll pick her up sunday with the hope that she stays with us for good.  we can only imagine how confused she must be.

in the meantime, here are some pics of some spiffy new shoes she saw upon waking up and could hardly wait to wear, cookie-eating at the foster holiday party, and a very excited roxy meeting a reindeer!